dr appt

{38 wks, 4 days} I had another appt with Dr. Milstein today. My cervix is still showin' no love. The baby is estimated to be over 8 pounds. We scheduled a sonogram for Monday to get a better idea of her size. After he checked me he told me to get dressed and meet him in his office. I felt like I was being called in by the principal. I knew he was going to talk c-section.

We discussed our options if the baby is over 8 and a half pounds on Monday and I'm still not dilating. He said it takes about a week to schedule a c-section and asked if I wanted to go ahead and get one on the books in case I decide on Monday that enough is enough. I agreed, reluctantly. So we have a c-section scheduled for Wednesday, June 25th at 7:30am.

I asked how accurate the sonogram is in determining weight and he said it can be off up to a pound in either direction. So, not very accurate, apparently.

If, however, Olivia is looking to be on the smaller size on Monday, and if I have started to dilate, we will hold off on the c-section and see what happens. The more I think about it, I really don't think I will give in to the c-section until we at least get to my due date. I mean, seriously, it's a little much to ask that my body be ready to birth this kid by 38 weeks. Most women do not go into labor by this point, so this is not and should not be shocking.

I am still hopeful since I did not dilate at all prior to my water breaking with Luke. Maybe that's just the way my body does things...maybe I'll go into labor tonight, or tomorrow...who knows??

Off to do some more research on VBACs...

new do

{38 wks, 3 days} Still pregnant. I woke up at 2am last night and couldn't fall back to sleep. I got this sudden idea in my head that I needed an emergency hair cut and highlight. It seemed, last night, that this was the answer to all of my problems. That all I had to do was call Toni & Guy, magically book an appointment for the day of, and I would feel refreshed, re-energized, and re-centered. And, not until this was accomplished, would I be able to face another week of not going into labor.

So, mission accomplished. My hair looks pretty nice (I must say so myself) and I do feel better. The problem is, I am still pregnant, still tired, still grumpy, and still pregnant. At least my hair looks good while I lay lifelessly on the couch. Speaking of...back to the couch.

still pregnant

{38 wks, 1 day} I'm still pregnant. I had contractions off and on from about 7pm to at least 3am this morning. At one point, the contractions were coming exactly 3 minutes apart for about 2 hours. I was just certain that this was it, but then I finally fell asleep and I haven't had any more this morning. The contractions were the strongest that they have been (since they started about 3-4 weeks ago) and some were even starting to get painful.

You know you are done being pregnant when you are hoping that each contraction hurts more than the last...and you are disappointed when they stop...haha.

I hope this was just one more trial run before the real labor starts. I would love to have her in my arms before Monday :)

hope

I've been having some light cramping since I woke up this morning.

I hope this means something.

I'll be exactly 38 weeks tomorrow.

ob appt

{37 wks, 4 days} Went in for my ob appt today and was just sure that he was going to tell me I had started to dilate or something. Unfortunately, still nothing is happening. I have been walking constantly and doing everything I can think of to get her headed toward the exit, but it appears she is happy inside for now and has no immediate plans of vacating. My tummy was measuring 39 cm and he estimated her weight to be about 6 3/4 - 7 pounds. She is still head down but has not dropped.

I asked how much longer I have before we start talking c-section. He said that as long as she doesn't get too big he would be comfortable with me going to 40 or 41 weeks. So, we could end up with a July baby, maybe even a July 4th baby. I think she's trying to follow in her brother's foot steps and claim a holiday of her own since he has stakes on Valentine's Day.

I'm exhausted, but I am willing to wait as long as it takes for my body and Olivia to be ready. I know if I wait patiently I will have the best chance of having a successful VBAC.

barbeque & still pregnant

{37 wks, 3 days} I am sitting here trying to recap the weekend and I cannot, for the life of me, remember what we did on Friday, or the rest of the weekend, for that matter. I do remember that we made a few trips to the neighborhood pool, I made a Boboli Pizza at some point, and on Saturday evening we went to a barbeque at my friend, Lisa's house, but most of the weekend is a blur. I feel like pregnancy makes me go retarded. It's like all the blood is flowing away from my brain or something. I cannot remember anything, I cannot think, and complete sentences are a thing of the past. What is it about pregnancy that does this to a person?? Is it not enough that it takes your thighs, butt, and boobs hostage as it transforms them into those of a complete stranger?? Must it take my mind too!

So, anyhoo...we had so much fun at the barbeque and it was so cute to watch Luke play with his little buddies. Yes, there was the occassional toddler smack down and, yes, Luke did bop his friend, Cole, on the head with a golf club a few too many times, but I think they had fun...haha. As for the rest of us, it was heaven to just sit outside in the shade, enjoy a sparkling lemonade, and relax. I couldn't help but find myself thinking that that may have been my last Saturday as a mother of one.

I have such mixed emotions lately. I am so extremely excited to meet my little daughter and snuggle her up in my arms. I think, perhaps, even more excited this time around, knowing just how amazing that whole experience will be. But then, when Luke starts crying for me to "hold you" and I just can't because of this enormous basketball under my shirt, I feel sad for him. He is still my baby and I want more than anything to be able to swoop him up anytime he needs me, rock him to sleep every night (if he'd let me), and play and wrestle with him on the floor until we are laughing so hard that we "pee-pee our diapers". I know this is all going to change soon once there are two little ones to compete for my attention, but we will figure it out and it will be even more amazing that I could ever imagine.

So, back to our weekend...after a blur of a Sunday (church, pool, lunch, nap, manicure/pedicure, shopping) we headed over to my mom's house for pot roast. We had some free tickets to the movies that we wanted to use before the baby came so we thought this would be a good opportunity to let Luke spend some time with Nana, while Mommy and Daddy get one last date night. (I keep referring to things as "the last weekend", "the last date night", "the last blah blah blah"...I sound like I'm about to walk the plank or something...haha).



So, my mom had bought these two giant blow up boats, one of which was a fire rescue boat (see above pic) complete with an operable watergun, and had placed them out in the pool. This was a little too much for Luke to handle as we would soon find out. The idea was that we would go outside to show Cameron the fire boat and then go back inside to eat dinner. After dinner, we said, they could all go swimming. So Luke starts shuffling his feet closer and closer to the pool and just as I reach to grab his arm and steer him back up the steps inside the house, he turns and runs. He does not even hesitate as he takes a running jump through the air and onto the fire boat. He only makes it half way on, with his legs dangling in the water, but is quickly able to pull himself the rest of the way up onto the boat. The momentum of his jump caused the boat to dart toward the deep end and, of course, I was in a panick. I was trying to lean over the edge and grab the string to the boat, all the while telling Luke to stay still, when all of a sudden, this blur of a person jumps from what seems like over my shoulder, into the pool. When the blur finally surfaced, I realized it was my little sister, Laurin. Haha...she was like "you guys were going to let a two year old float on a boat out in the deep end??" Her quick thinking created quite a splash and drenched Luke, but I was glad to see her "jump to action" whereas the rest of us, including me, Luke's own mother, were just screaming on the side of the pool. If he had fallen in the water, I would have certainly jumped in without hesitation, but when you have a dare-devil son like Luke you come to expect these kinds of things from him and so it's not necessarily shocking when he goes 007 and jumps 3 feet onto a pool float.

Please, oh please, let Olivia have a little more sense than her big brother...haha. I'm not sure my heart can handle it :)

36 wk baby appointment

{36 wks, 4 days} My tummy measured 37 cm, which means I grew 2 cm since my last visit! Dr. Milstein felt around on my tummy and estimated that Olivia is well over 6 pounds already. He also was able to tell that she is still head down but she has not dropped or engaged yet. I found that very hard to believe considering I am running to the bathroom every 15 minutes and no longer walk, but waddle around. He also checked to see if I have started to dilate, which I have not. Bummer. I was sure something was happening.

We talked more about the VBAC and decided that as long as she doesn't get too big and I go into labor soon that we would try it. If she's not here by 38-39 weeks, we will discuss a c-section. I mentioned that when I start having alot of BH contractions I usually try to take it easy and lie down. He said not to worry, that if Olivia was born today she would be perfectly healthy and would be able to room in with me and leave the hospital when I leave. He said he would be totally fine with her coming any time now!

This was obviously exciting news, but also sent my mind whirling with all of the things I need to get done before she arrives. So just to clear the fog in my head a little, I will go ahead and make a quick list here of the things that must get done before I am okay with this baby coming.

1. clean out car and install carseat
2. buy double stroller before coupon expires
3. get caught up on laundry/dry cleaning
4. clean out refrigerator
5. make trip to grocery store to stock up on certain items
6. pack hospital bag (don't forget baby book, address book, announcement envelopes)
7. put hospital bag and diaper bag in car
8. white tank for newborn photos

Hmmm...I'm sure there is more I need to do, but that should keep me busy for now.

And a little peek inside her world. These are all from my 4d sonogram at 28 weeks.